Mike at Night Special Days and Special People
Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily chores and obligations that we forget about those special people in our lives that make our lives worth living to begin with. Most of us like to be thought of and remembered on our special days and it requires such little effort that it's amazing that anyone ever forgets or fails to recognize the special day of someone that supposedly is significant in their lives. I say "supposedly" because the very act of forgetting, not remembering, or just not acknowledging is a clear statement that perhaps you're not as important to them as you thought you were. The love of my life and I just celebrated two years of being in love this past Monday. She's a very kind and sentimental person and I took a long time looking for a card that said just the right things because I wanted her to know how much she means to me. Shopping for cards or gifts has never been a chore for me because I've always wanted those special people in my life to know how much I care about them. I guess that's not a typical "guy" thing. Several of my friends would rather take a beating than to spend time looking for a card or picking out a gift and then they get offended or hurt if the special person in their lives doesn't remember them. That's kind of the way we humans are. We have one set of rules for ourselves and a different set for everyone else. It's the difference between the ideal world, the way things ought to be, and the real world, the way things are. We tend to expect a lot more out of others than we demand of ourselves when the opposite should be true. We can't control other people but we can control ourselves and we should constantly be making the effort to be the best we can be and let everything else take care of itself. Machiavelli in "The Prince" revealed this when he had to make a decision about how to rule. Should he rule out of fear or out of love? He decided on the former, using the rationale that he could make people fear him but he couldn't make people love him. This is the one area of relationships that so many people get wrong because Machiavelli was right on target. We can't make people love us. That's why love is so mysterious. That's why we can date for years without finding the right person and then one day they magically appear and our life is changed instantly and eternally. We don't fall in love because of what people do, we fall in love with who they are and the chemistry that exists between us. The love of my life has told me that whenever she sees me, her heart always skips a beat and she feels like she's back in junior high school. And I feel exactly the same way. That's what love does to you, whether you want it to or not. So, if you're fortunate enough to have someone in your life that makes your heart skip a beat, always remember their special days. Birthdays, anniversaries, Mothers Day and Fathers Day, etc. Celebrate their special days with them by showing through your actions how much you care for them and how important they are to your life. One of the positive outcomes of 9-11 was the re-dedication of so many people to the important people in their lives. How many husbands and wives let their spouses go to work that morning or get on one of the ill-fated airplanes without telling them they loved them. I remember the heart-wrenching interview that Ed Bradley had with a wife whose husband was missing just a couple of days after the tragedy. She reached out to Bradley, grasped both of his hands and tearfully said, "You have to understand Mr. Bradley, my husband IS MY LIFE." Those of us who have the privilege of loving someone who loves us back understands at the very core of our souls exactly what she was saying. When we love that deeply and that profoundly, that other person IS our life and we're obligated to let them know that every chance we get because of all the gifts known to man, being loved completely, totally, and exclusively by another is the greatest gift of all. ____________ Mike can be e-mailed at mikeatnight@hotmail.com |