Mike at Night Virgil and the Psychic
It's been a long time since I heard for Virgil, my friend in Arkansas. On the other hand, he usually only calls when he's either got a problem or a complaint so it's good that I don't hear from him more often. I was watching the first round of the PGA on TNT yesterday when the phone rang and his name and number came up on Caller I.D. "Hey, good buddy, long time no talk," Virgil blurted out. "Hi Virg," I replied, "what's going on?" "Well, the dangdest thing just happened to me and I had to tell you about it," said Virgil. "You know about the girlfriend I've had for two years?" I told him that I did. He fell head over heels in love with her two years ago, as she did him, according to Virgil. But she was in an abusive relationship at the time and still is. In fact, Virgil says not much has changed in that regard. He continued his story. "Well, I been getting real impatient, waiting on her and all, so I decided I would call one of them psychics to see if they could tell me what was going on and what was going to happen in the future." "You didn't!" I exclaimed. I always tell my college classes that when Dionne Warwick's Psychic Hotline declared bankruptcy, if they were really psychic you would think they could have seen it coming. "Yep, I did," Virgil continued. "Found a person on the internet that would give a reading for twenty bucks so I called her. Sylvia was her name, down in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. She took my credit card information and then she told me she didn't want me to volunteer any information at all, so she could prove to me that she truly had the gift. She started off pretty good, telling me that I had always been healthy, that I would live to be between 88 and 92 years old and it would be a healthy old age, not a sickly one. Told me I grew up in a loving, caring family whose only mistake was not saying no to me often enough. Told me that I was happy in my chosen profession and that my finances would improve. All that was pretty much on target and I hope she's right about that last thing." "Well, that's not bad," I said. The things she had told him were pretty accurate. To my knowledge, he's only been in the hospital once, when he was six years old to have his tonsils removed. Other than that, he's only had colds and the flu a couple of times. And he hasn't taken very good care of himself physically either. And his parents were pretty lenient on him when he was a kid. Virgil continued his story. "Anyhow, she said she saw this dark cloud hanging over my head in the area of my love life. That I wanted to be with the woman I loved and couldn't yet be and that it was putting great pressure on me. She said this woman was my true soulmate and that we should be together. She said if she wasn't my true soulmate, she would tell me to forget about her and go on down the road. I told her that part was right and that me and my girlfriend both agreed on the soulmate part." "The psychic then told me that she could fix my problem for $175 and have my girlfriend with me forever more in two weeks or less. I told her she had a deal." "You surely didn't, did you?" I asked. "Well, heck yea, I did," Virgil replied. $175 is nothing if she could really do that. I'd give a lot more than that, if I had it, if it would get her in my life on a permanent basis." "Okay, what next?" I asked. "Well, she told me to call her back the next day, which was today at 12:30 and she would give me further instructions. I did. She told me to make a list of the nine things I wanted to happen in my life, in order of importance from one down through nine. Then she told me to go pick three live leaves off a tree and bring them back into the house. Then she instructed me to go to the bank and get 18 one-hundred dollar bills and bring them back to the house. I was told to wrap the leaves inside the paper I had my wish list on, then I was to place nine of the bills on one side of the paper and nine on the other side of the paper, seal the envelope, put it under my mattress and sleep on it tonight. She asked me if I could do those things and how long would it take. I told her I could and I would be back in about an hour. She instructed me to call her as soon as I got back." "This story is not going to end good, is it Virgil?" I asked. "Just hold on to your britches," Virgil replied, "I'm almost done. I did the things she told me to do and called her when I got back home. She told me to read my wish list out loud to her. I did, and when I finished she assured me there would be no problem in making all those wishes come true. I was getting a little skeptical now. Maybe somebody can help make one or two wishes come true but nine seemed like a big stretch." "Go on," I admonished. "She then told me she was seeing the number 45 and asked me if that number had any significance to me. I told her that was the year I was born. She asked me if I had access to $4500 dollars. I told her if I had that much money lying around to just throw away that I wouldn't have any problems at all. She said I was thinking destructively, that it wouldn't be throwing it away, it would be investing it and the money would come back to me ten fold as well as having my main wish, the love of my life, in my life forever. She told me to go to Western Union, wire her the $1800 dollars I had in the envelope and then immediately start working on raising the additional $4500. I told her I thought she wanted me to put the money in the envelope and sleep on it. She said no, to send the money to her and to sleep on the other items. I told her how disappointed I was in her and this experience and how I had really hoped that something good would happen. She was still trying to convince me of her validity and the need to send her all this money when I hung up the phone." "Good for you, Virgil," I said. "P.T. Barnum once said there's a sucker born every minute and it sure sounds like she was trying to make one out of you. I've heard about these kinds of scams before but you're the first person I've personally known to be the object of one. I'm sorry it didn't work for you, Virgil. I know how much in love you are. Just be patient and things will happen the way they're meant to be. "I suppose," Virgil sighed. Thanks for listening to me, good buddy." "Not a problem, Virg. Call me anytime." ____________ Mike can be e-mailed at mikeatnight@hotmail.com |