Mike at Night Who Out there is Really Happy? Happiness is one of the major objectives of every person's life. We strive for happiness in so many different ways and directions. We try and find a job that will make us happy. We try and find friends that make us happy. We look for houses and cars and possessions that will make us happy. But, most importantly and above all else, we try to find true happiness in our loving relationships. It's a sad commentary on life that most of us fail in this most important arena. Go through a mental exercise with me as you drink your coffee and read this column on this first Saturday in April. Think about all the people you know who are in relationships and ask yourself how many of them are happy? How many married people do you know that would rather be doing anything else with anyone else except their spouse? How many married people do you know that speak ill of those people they're supposed to care about the most? How many married people do you know that are made whole because of the love they share with their spouse? How many married people do you know that would rather be with their spouse than anyone else? Then ask these same questions to yourself about your own relationship. One of the most romantic and poignant lines ever spoken in a movie was spoken by Rene Zellweger to Tom Cruise in the 1996 movie, Jerry Maguire, when she looked him in the eyes and said, "You complete me." That's what most of us are looking for but few find. There will always be the nay Sayers who contend that we should be able to complete ourselves without needing someone else but that perspective just shows an unawareness of the social nature of being human. We DO need other people to help complete our lives. None of us can do it alone. The proof that we need others is found in research that clearly demonstrates that those people who live in social isolation have a much shorter life span than those who are fully integrated into society. We can't make ourselves complete, regardless of how hard we try. We need to have something other than ourselves to make us get up in the morning with a smile in our heart. We need to have others to comfort us, sympathize with us, motivate us, and love us. When we can't find these qualities in another person, we often seek them out in our work, possessions, status, power or fame. But no matter how hard we try and regardless of how diligently we pursue happiness through inanimate objects, we always come up short. Because those "things" can't put their arms around us and tell us everything is going to be okay. Those "things" can't snuggle up to us and keep us warm at night. Those "things" can't look us in the eye and express their love, dedication, and devotion to us. Sometimes we are so busy pursuing happiness through jobs or intellect or booze or drugs that we miss the train when it's stopped right in front of us. If you are in an emotionally and physically satisfying relationship with another, you are more blessed than 98% of the people on the planet. If you're in love with someone who loves you back, you are rich beyond your wildest dreams. Most of us have been in love, have had people in our lives that gave us reasons to get up in the morning and most of us have gone through periods where we had no one. I've certainly experienced love and the lack of love and there's no question where I would rather be. I'm in love and I never again want to be without love. If you are and the other person loves you back, you've found something more rare than gold and something most people would give anything to have, whether they openly admit it or not. Rhonda COMPLETES me and gives me life. And it's not too late for you. Just never settle for less because your life is way to short to waste time and postpone happiness. ____________ Mike can be e-mailed at mikeatnight@hotmail.com |