BIRDS, BEES AND BEARS It is the natural inclination of all parents, and especially a father, to be protective of their daughters when they become teenagers and start dating. I recently read a story on the news wires that sounded like a good way to prepare girls to survive the jungle of the dating game. Little 9-year-old Victoria Falls of Buchanan, Virginia likes to play with dolls, like most little girls. However, she has another pastime that she shares with her daddy. It should have her well trained to deter the uncivilized urges of adolescent teenage boys. Her daddy and her spend quality time following their hunting dogs through the mountains of Virginia on the trail of a bear. A few days ago, Rattler, Victoria’s dog, treed a 175-pound bear. It was only fair, since it was her dog that treed the bear. Her daddy let her take aim with a rifle, and she fell that big old bear. I don’t know about you, but I think the first time Victoria goes on a date her parents won’t have a lot to worry about. When the lucky boy get a look at old Mr. Bear’s mounted head, he might think twice about getting out of line. In his book Men and Marriage, George Gelder says, "Men without women frequently become the single menace, and they are often destined to a Hobbsean life, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short." Gelder’s premise is that without the civilizing influence of women and the responsibilities placed on them in the role of husband, provider and father, most men resort to barbaric behavior. This is illustrated by the actions of inner city gangs and deadbeat dads who are removed from the influence of woman and the role as head of the family. While I never got in serious trouble, I readily admit that when I started to date my future wife back in high school, she quickly had the effect of turning me away from being a prankster and goof off into a more responsible, well-behaved person. It wasn’t by nagging either or trying to change me. As the relationship developed and we got to know each other, I matured and started realizing some of the pranks I did were stupid and stopped doing them. I am sure my wife might say I have a long way to go yet to be civilized, but she did joke (when she saw what I was writing about) that "she thought she had done a good job." Despite the claims of many, I know in my heart -- through my life experiences and the evidence of society -- that marriage and family are extremely important to happiness, success and civility. There is too much evidence of the pathologies that come when this most fundamental of human institutions breaks down. Men and woman are equal and should be able to make choices about careers and other things. However, we need to stop trying to ignore the biological differences between men and women. I am glad I am happily married because I don’t know if I could put up with some of the stupid rules and laws of conduct between the sexes that is trying to be forced upon society today. For instance, it is wrong for a man to take a second look at an attractive woman or, worse yet, verbalize it. Then, there is the idea that physical attraction must stop at the door of the workplace. It just flies in the face of the human condition. I hope to be able to teach my boys to respect women and teach them how they should act around them. However, I hope society will stop trying to mess things up. My wish is that there will still be women like their mother who expects a man to act a certain way and won’t tolerate it any other way. She had four brothers on which to practice the feminine skills of taming the savage male beast, but when that isn’t available maybe you should try bear hunting. |
