According to the Bible, God appeared to young
King Solomon in a dream and offered to give him anything he wanted. Solomon asked for
wisdom so that he could be an effective leader of the people. The annuals of time have
granted Solomon the title of the "wisest man to ever live."
The most famous example of his wisdom is the
time two women came to him, claiming that each one was the mother of a baby boy. Solomon
called for a sword and said he was going to cut the child in half so each woman could have
a part of the child. One woman immediately said that the other woman could have the child.
At this, Solomon knew the real mother was the one that offered to give the child up
because the real mother would never allow her child to be harmed.
By his words, deeds and mannerisms,
Vice-President Al Gore must think he is the modern reincarnation of King Solomon. I have
never seen a public figure (with the possible exception of Hillary Clinton) who is as full
of himself as Gore. Gore acts like he thinks he is royalty, so I am going to unofficially
anoint him, "Prince Albert." This is particularly appropriate, considering he
used to brag (when he was the Senator from the tobacco-growing state of Tennessee) about
having worked the tobacco fields with his own hands as a child.
To borrow a line from former Texas Governor Ma
Richards, Prince Albert was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His father was a U.S.
Senator who sent Prince Albert to all the right schools and carefully laid the plans for
sonny boy to vicariously follow in his footsteps and achieve everything his father had
failed to do. Now, Bill Clinton is treating Gore like he has a divine right to ascend to
the throne of Washington when Clinton’s reign comes to an end.
A prince such as England’s Prince Charles
only has ceremonial powers, much like a U.S. Vice-President. Gore has been acting like
British royalty of late, going across the country and around the world to pass out a few
million dollars here and a billion there. If you pay sufficient homage or are in a state
with a lot of electoral votes, Prince Albert is sure to pay a royal visit and pass out
part of the King’s treasure chest filled with our tax dollars.
If this story is to end happily ever after
(with Prince Albert’s coronation as President) and if he is to become the later day
Solomon, Prince Albert better dust off the old Bible sitting on the shelf. He needs to
learn a lesson or two from the timeless wisdom of Solomon instead of the new age gods of
neo-animism, pantheism and technology. These wacky ideas are clearly manifested in his
apocalyptic pagan prophecy promoting the myth of global warming.
Prince Albert is going around the country and
saying that because it is hot in the summer it is the proof of global warming. Now, Prince
Albert might have spent his summers on the beach or in a cool mountain resort somewhere;
but for the rest of us that have lived in the real America, it is a truism that it is hot
in the summer. This is true in Texas, Nebraska, Washington D.C. and most every other area
from sea to shining sea.
Instead of sounding like King Solomon, Prince
Albert sounds more like Simple Simon when he makes such absurd pronouncements. As another
good Texas Democrat once said of another prince that often came across sounding more like
the court jester, "Prince Albert, I knew King Solomon, he was a friend of mine and
Prince Albert you are no King Solomon."
Of course, there are a lot of loyal subjects
to Prince Albert, otherwise known as journalists, who preach his gospel. After all, Prince
Albert is one of them, having studied journalism at the Ivy Halls of Harvard. Daily
headlines across the country sound like this is the first time in history that it has ever
been hot in the summer.
One of my favorites was from the AP wires:
"Oklahoma Ranchers Surrender to Heat." I was expecting a horror story, but found
out that "these big time ranchers" were going to sell all 30 head of cattle.
This is acreage -- not a ranch -- and only a hobby. I speak from experience, having grown
up on 60 acres of land and another 60 acres that my father rented where we raised 30-50
head of cattle. Nobody makes a living on 30 head of beef cows. If you actually read the
whole story, it was really just a part-time hobby.
Then, the headlines get even more ominous. We
hear about all the deaths from the heat. Out of a population of about 260 million people,
there are a little over a 100 people who allegedly died because of the heat. The odds are
probably better of winning the 180 million pot in this week’s Powerball lottery.
While any death is always tragic, most of the
so-called "heat-related deaths" are of the old and sick who were going to
succumb to death in the near future anyway, regardless of the weather. My great uncle
recently overheated in the garden. He became to weak to walk, so my father and I had to
carry him to his air-conditioned home where he soon was okay again.
Well, that isn’t exactly right. At age
86, the dear old man has been fighting prostrate cancer for years and the inevitable,
cruel certainty of death is drawing nearer all of the time. Uncle Harold may have survived
4 years of island hopping in the Pacific during WWII, but he won’t be able to avoid
the grim reaper forever. If he had dropped dead in his beloved garden on a hot afternoon,
he would have died a happy man. Harold has spent much of his life in the peace of a garden
or a corn field because it brings him closer to the peace of heaven and farther from the
memories of the hell of war.
This, in my rambling nature, brings me back to
King Solomon, Prince Albert and the four seasons. Just as death is assured from the time
you are born, we are going to have rainy springs, hot steamy summers, cool crisp harvest
moons in autumn and cold, snowy winters. If all of us, including Prince Albert, would
remember the wisdom of Solomon, we might have some of that wisdom rub off and have a more
content, realistic view of life.
To everything there is a season, and a time to
every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die: a time to plant, and
a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to
break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn,
and a time to dance...He [God] hath made everything beautiful in his time; also he hath
set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from
the beginning to the end...All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to
dust again
-- Ecc. 3:1-4,11,20
