Ten Years Down, A Lifetime to Go © 1998 Joe Murray Over the last few months, there have been some bizarre happenings in the news, both locally and nationally, dealing with the institution of marriage. In Nebraska, we had a Methodist minister who attempted to rewrite the meaning of marriage by having a ceremony for a homosexual couple. Just this week, a woman in Bellevue had a wedding without a groom. She put on the wedding dress, invited friends, and said vows to herself. There is a plethora of commentary I could write about these two events, but I will leave that to others. All I have to say is that they ought to try the traditional marriage between a man and a woman. I won’t speak for anyone else; but, for me, I find it is the source of my happiness and strength. It is an integral part of my identity. I speak so highly of marriage because 10 years ago on June 19, 1988, I entered into this oldest of human institutions. The love and passion shared by Sharon and myself was so evident that we almost set Lincoln on fire. If you doubt me, the temperature that day was a record 106 degrees. With all the heartache and difficulty that millions seem to have with love and marriage, I wish I could give advice about how to make it work, but I can’t. I can tell you what worked for us. It started for me almost 18 years ago when we were in the 10th grade. It was Sharon’s first year at the school, and she was dating someone else in another class. However, we were starting to strike up a friendship. One day, I was chatting with our school principal in the cafeteria over lunch. I don’t recall whether it was just a friendly chat or whether I was in trouble for something. It likely was a combination of both. Somehow, the discussion turned to girls. I didn’t have a girlfriend at the time, and I jokingly asked Mr. Krueger who I should date. He immediately suggested Sharon. Now, I already had her in mind, but didn’t know my interest was obvious enough for anyone else to notice, let alone suggest she was the girl for me. I responded that I thought that was a good idea, but she was dating another guy. Surprising to me, Mr. Krueger gave his blessing that I should do something to change the situation. Being a good boy, I thought I should respect my elder. I took his advice and started paying even more attention to Sharon with hints that she ought to dump the no-good bum -- or more subtle words to that effect. In a week or two, she had ended that short and misguided relationship. Despite my devious plan, I was a little shy and didn’t immediately ask her for a date. About a week later on a Saturday night, the school was having a bonfire and hayrack ride. Sharon and I kind of gravitated together and, before the evening was over, it had turned into our first date. The nice thing about nostalgic memories is that nobody usually cares if you embellish a little -- especially where affairs of the heart are concerned. I could do that by giving you a romance story of the wonderful romantic things that happened that evening. You might even believe me, but this isn’t the creative writing section of Sodbuster. Neither Sharon nor I are exactly the Harlequin Romance type. The truth is, most of the evening was spent laughing at two of our respective best friends that happened to be on a date that evening. Karen Dible and Gregg (as in Smith of Imperial) are wonderful people, but together on a date they acted like they were conducting a formal business meeting dedicated to doing all they could to reduce the problem of over-population in the world. If their relationship had any hope of developing, it ended that night or not too long thereafter… despite the efforts of Sharon and I to show them how you are supposed to act on a date. For example, you were supposed to snuggle together under a warm blanket and at least hold hands. Gregg eventually discovered what I did that night when he found Denise, so our efforts weren’t a complete waste. Although. I suspect that Denise deserves the credit. For Sharon and me, it was a long, slow and sometimes bumpy process to the marriage altar; but that night, we discovered we could laugh together. Although I doubt either of us knew it at the time, nobody else would ever come between us. I also must admit there was a little traditional romance as well in the cool crisp air of a late October night lit only with the light of a harvest moon and the sparks of a bonfire. We went slow, became friends, and discovered our flaws before we were lovers. We are also smart enough to realize that nobody else could put up with the other one. I don’t know if we are the poster couple for a perfect marriage according to the experts, but I do know that it works. I wouldn’t trade what I have for all the money in the world. As my good friend, Gregg Smith, has told me many times: "True wealth is measured by our family and friends instead of the amount of money we have in the bank." I am a very wealthy man. I plan to keep building on the investment of the last 10 years and for the rest of my life. |
